Sitting in the Fire

Photo: krystle mikaere on unsplash

“What is to give light must endure burning”. - Viktor Frankl

Dear friends, especially those of us who believe ourselves to be white:

Now is the time to sit in the fire. To do less talking and more listening. To seek out books and films and articles that raise up Black voices and their lived experiences of others. To lean into uncomfortable conversations. To give up the enterprise of being a good person by virtue of being nice and kind. To feel in our bones the weight and the trauma of collective and ancestral grief.

We can choose love over safety. We can train ourselves to sit with discomfort. We can sit in the fire so our ignorance and complacency and privilege are illuminated and transformed.

What would it mean to commit to being an antiracist? What if we acted to:

actively promote policies that create a society where all groups are treated equally?
exercise radical imagination about systems of public safety, public health, and public education?
show up vulnerable and willing to learn from the mistakes we will absolutely make? (Do we want to be right or learn how to do it right?)

There’s a new world busy being born. It’s around me and coming through me. Birth is hard and messy and there is no going back, no controlling the contractions, no guarantee of a healthy delivery. With power and love, we have to do our own work and participate in collective action.

In many ways, this is a moment I have longed for, a reckoning long overdue. An animating principle of my work has been the notion that when we make our most important issues discussable, we can figure them out together. We need to face our history of slavery and anti-Blackness if we are to become a fair and inclusive society.

Let’s stop asking Black people to explain things to us. Let’s commit to our own ongoing self-study and self-reflection. What new frameworks can change the lens through which we see? What history do we need to learn and unlearn? Whose stories will break open our hearts and minds and expand our sense of beloved community?

I offer some resources below. If you have others, send them on.


Steady and Ready
In May, I wrote about warrior training during the quarantine restrictions and the loss and suffering around us. That grief and uncertainty continue and compound. Add to that: protests around the world with young people out in front demanding change, a hard-hit economy, and the 2020 election with voting rights and democracy under siege.

We are called to stay vigilant, resilient, and engaged. We have to be disciplined in embodied practices that allow us to keep moving forward from a centered presence and to recover when we lose our balance.


On the Mat
Pranayama, the art and science of working with the breath, conscious prolongation of inhalation, retention and exhalation, is one of the 8 limbs of Yoga. In Light on Pranayama, Mr. Iyengar writes that "the practice of pranayama develops a steady mind, strong will power and sound judgment." Working with the breath is a powerful and simple way to calm the mind, train the attention, and strengthen our immune system. Bonus Feature: No gear or travel required!


Calming Breath/4-4-8 Practice
Sit comfortably with your spine erect and your knees over your ankles. Inhale gently to a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for a count of 8. Do five rounds and return to normal breathing. Working with the breath trains our attention, and an exhalation longer than the inhalation activates our parasympathetic nervous system, triggering the rest and relax response.


Take a minute/12 breath Practice
Before you start a meeting or conversation, invite a moment (literally 60 seconds!) to come to stillness. Sit quietly with a vertical spine and breathe, gently following the breath as your chest expands on the inhalation and your belly receives the out-breath. Notice how interactions become more spacious.


RESOURCES
LP Picks: These resources have been valuable as I educate myself on how to be an antiracist.


Podcasts
The Ezra Klein Show - Why Ta-Nehisi Coates is hopeful (on Vox, or listen on Apple Podcasts)
Unlocking Us - Brené Brown in conversation with Austin Channing Brown on I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness
On Being - Krista Tippett writes movingly about the journey of coming to terms with white privilege and interviews Eula May Bliss. She also sits down with therapist and trauma specialist Resmaa Menakem.
Fresh Air - Terry Gross in conversation with James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art

Books
Ibram X. Kendi - How to Be an Antiracist (the board book version, Antiracist Baby, dropped yesterday)
Robin DiAngelo, PhD - White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard For White People To Talk About Racism

Film
I Am Not Your Negro about the wise and beautiful James Baldwin

Song
Ella's Song - Lyrics and music by Bernice Johnson Reagon, sung by Sweet Honey in the Rock

Link to this article on Laura’s website: 

• Newsletter archive http://www.laurapeck.co/past-newsletters
• Direct link https://mailchi.mp/0bb685464256/sitting-in-the-fire

Let us stay strong and woke with love and rage. Let me know what you're reading and noticing at laurapeck.co

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Laura is a leadership coach, facilitator, and midwife with over 30 years of experience working with leaders committed to embodied leadership and social justice.  She operates from a belief that that when we make our most important issues discussable, we can figure them out together.