Paradoxically Yours: Walking the Grays

A paradox presents two conflicting ideas and relates them in a way that forces you to wonder if it's true or not. It defies logic and runs counter to one's expectations. A key component of critical thinking is the ability to accept and work with both sides of a paradox. One good example of a paradoxical statement comes from Pearl Bailey, actress, singer and author, who said, “Some of the biggest failures I ever had were successes.”
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Here’s another example. There's a hotel described in a famous pop culture song where you can check out anytime but unfortunately, you can never truly leave. I think this means you can physically leave a difficult, confusing or traumatic situation but may not be able to easily leave behind the experience or how it makes you feel when you think about it. This is also true of  positive and joyful experiences.
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If you can see paradoxical ideas as both/and statements instead of black/white or right/wrong statements, you are able to accept that two things can be true at the same time. You are “walking the grays,” looking at things from all sides and all shades while gaining more clarity, contentment, and resilience. Here are three more paradoxes to think about:

• If I know one thing, it's that I know nothing.
• Deep down, you're really shallow.
• Here are the rules: Ignore all rules.

Paradoxes also exist in the study of consciousness and self-awareness. It seems the more aware we become, the more we realize how much we don’t and never will know about our very existence in the universe. Given that, we can add another paradox to the above bulleted list: 

• The more I know, the less I understand

Sometimes poetry is the best way to express a paradox. Here’s mine.

Paradoxically Yours
Consciousness is a paradox
A puzzle, a riddle, a mystery,
So enlighten up as best you can
And express the truth you see.

For there's no beginning, no past, no end
Is the present a perfect w/hole?
To experience the answer
Let your practice be the goal.

But what need of practice if we're already there?
If Big Mind is ours and we see?
We practice to express who we truly are
To behave like the Buddhas we be.

Even so, we resist it, with our likes and dislikes
With our wants and our hopes, and our fears.
And we stumble along over pebbles and rocks
As our present/s grow into years.

All we do and try not to do
Catches us tight in a trap,
Surrender is the only way
To rise above the Gap.

Gratitude is the ticket
Self-awareness is the key
That will carry us through the waters
Of the universal See.

So rest, relax and be aware
Of Quantum reality
That connects one to all and all to one
And that’s the way it be.

When little mind softens to Big Mind
And we finally say, "I don't know"
Consciousness will jump for joy
And we’ll go with the flow.

So how do we surrender, rest, relax and be aware and shift our little mind to Big Mind? If you been reading my bog posts and newsletters you know my go-to answer is self-awareness and by that I mean the ability to see, understand and accept our complex and often paradoxical beliefs, habits and behavior without judgment. Then we can consciously choose to make changes, remain unchanged with full awareness of the consequences or find acceptance and peace of mind if change is not possible. Cultivating self-awareness is a lifelong journey that can be started at any age. 

Self-awareness, is a state not a trait. We don’t find and keep our self-awareness. It will ebb and flow, shift and change depending on our situation and state of mind. Another question to consider is - why is self-awareness important? It’s important because if we move through our lives on autopilot with no awareness of our body, how we’re breathing, or our habits, routines, beliefs, emotions, impulses, and reactions, we lose power. When we become truly self-aware at the deepest levels, and learn to “walk the grays,” we will gain a better understanding of how and why we react the way we do to what life presents. Then the choices we make are conscious. Our responses are healthier, balanced and more productive. This requires attention and effort. It will take time, but the result will be more clarity, contentment and resilience. 

If you’d like more information on this topic, you can read my blog post here. Then if you want more detailed information with stories, practices and a bit of humor sprinkled in, you can read my book Enlighten Up! You’ll find more information and a trailer to watch here. And keep a lookout for my next book on the topic titled, Bitchcraft, Owning Your Power in a Complicated World – coming this fall! You can read my blog post on it here.

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