ENLIGHTEN UP! a blogSelf-awareness stories: lighting our way to clarity, contentment and resilience in a complicated world.
|
 Before the start of a yoga class in a senior center a few years ago, the students and I were talking ‘tech.’ The conversation was about the issue many of us struggled with. . . learning how to set up and work with iPhones, computers and electronic pads. One woman said she’d bought her first computer a month ago. We all wanted to know if she’d managed to set it up and get it working. A sly grin crossed her face. She chuckled and said, “Nope. It’s still in the box.” We all laughed, but her words stuck with me at a deeper level. I began to think about that phrase and how well it describes the mental and psychological clutter around difficult life issues and personal demons surrounding many experiences that are still in our mental/emotional boxes. Everyone struggles or has struggled with something, physical, mental, a difficult life situation or a combination of both. They represent all shades of experience from hilarious to heartfelt from tragic to miraculous. And many of us keep these experiences and our feelings and thoughts about them to ourselves. That may be due to reluctance, resistance, shame, pain or not feeling like we have anyone who will listen to us with empathy instead of pity or jumping in to tell us what we ‘should’ do to deal with what we’ve faced or are facing in the present. Before opening up to others about what’s still in your box, I recommend you slide the lid off and take a peek at what is in there. If you need a hint on how that might work, here’s a story from Regina Barreca, an educator and humorist that offers a perfect example. It’s titled, “An Emotional Rescue in the Dark Night of the Soul,” and appeared in her book, If You Lean in, Men Will Just Look Down Your Blouse. I LOVE this story. In the story, three demons decided to ambush a woman who lived alone. They were manifestations of her worst nightmares, fear, anxiety, and despair. They broke into her house and for hours upon end, they ruined what she held dear and disfigured what she cherished. They were enormously confident because they saw that she was all alone and past her first youth. As they continued into the wee hours of the night they began to notice that although weary, the woman had calmly begun to boil water on the stove and set out three cups on the table. When they asked in astonishment what she was doing, the woman stared at them tolerantly and said, “I know all of you by now. You’ve been here before, and you’ll be here again. You might as well make yourselves at home. What kind of tea would you like? The woman was not shattered into pieces because her demons paid a visit. She did not fight them. She simply became aware of them, observed them, and accepted them. And because she also accepted ALL of herself, she was able to manage their impact on her life. She’d taken her first step to get her ‘stuff’ out of the box. She Faced It. In my mind her next steps might be to: Trace it, Embrace it, and then Replace it. Here’s how those four steps can play out. Practice: Face it, Trace it, Embrace it, and Replace it Instructions Face It Bring yourself to a comfortable position, seated or lying down. Play soft soothing music if that helps your process. Let the mind drift. Then write down or state your condition, issue or situation. Trace It Take time to explore any sensations or symptoms that might be manifesting in your body, your breath, or your thoughts and emotions. Watch for any nuggets of awareness, memories, connection, or wisdom that float up from your subconscious mind. As you drift, know that many thoughts and emotions, even contradictory ones, can be present simultaneously. Can you welcome and witness all that is present without judgment, or do you notice resistance? Ease and soften attachment to any negative thoughts, difficult emotions or behaviors that cause you discomfort, concern or difficulty. If you experience an uncomfortable level of discomfort or resistance, imagine or visualize a thick Glass Wall between you and what is making you uncomfortable. This creates distance between you and what is floating up. Over time, the emotional charge may gradually lessen in intensity once you have shone the light of self-awareness on it. Embrace it Can you welcome what you find? If not, be compassionate with yourself. Accept that these thoughts, emotions, and behaviors exist as your guides and teachers. Replace it Replace unhelpful attitudes, beliefs and behaviors with helpful ones. Here are a few examples: Unhelpful Helpful I’m not good enough or I’m good enough, warts and all I’ll never get this right or I always do my level best I can’t trust anybody or I trust myself Everybody judges me or I accept constructive feedback When you feel that you’ve taken every hidden issue out of your mental/emotional box you can decide if you want to take action and make a change, let things be as they are with full knowledge of the consequences or if no change is possible, find your way to acceptance and peace of mind. Good luck and remember . . . it’s a process.
0 Comments
 Warning - I say shit a fair bit I hope you don't mind all that much, and if you do, that you choose to read on with a forgiving heart. At what age do we start taking proper care of ourselves? Obviously it depends on a multitude of variables: cultural, environmental, familial, individual, political, relational, social, and even technological. My hunch is it's deeply—and very individually—correlated to the age we are first exposed to genuine hardship or trauma. We respond like a meerkat alerted to danger even if "this shit just got real" doesn't necessarily hit us at a conscious level as it unfolds. For me, it wasn't until well into my late thirties that I finally got with the program, so to speak, triggered by grief and emotional turmoil reinforced with loss, sadness, and anger. And a few years beyond then to realize it. I was honored when Beth invited me to write a guest blog post, and excited about the opportunity to share my take on mental fitness with her audience; people who are frequently practicing self-care, and aligned to Beth's "motion is lotion" philosophy to keep the mind and body strong and supple. Anyone who has the good fortune to receive Beth's profound wisdom, wit, and general awesomeness is in good hands when it comes to self-awareness, growth, and learning. Mental fitness is how you navigate through life. When I created the Better Mental Fitness Framework, it was designed with people like you in mind—to meet you right where you're at. It aims to harness, acknowledge, and celebrate all the efforts you've made to date to genuinely take care of yourself, thus creating a positive ripple effect for your family, friends, and community. Here's a new way to explore self-care through a slightly different lens with a simplistic schema to do so. Awareness enables information and knowledge to be transformed into understanding. That's an empowering virtuous circle to apply to something as unpredictable and dynamic as being human. But it requires clear intention to be effective. This is where modern living delivers an unexpected plot twist. There's an invisible burden bestowed upon us with this continuing persuasive insistence that we should all aspire to be happy. I'm calling it out, here and now. Just as Beth has previously done with five layers of self-awareness that stretch well beyond the superficial. This stagnant focus is accentuating guilt and shame. Because who on earth can be happy in the 21st century, when there's so much shit going on?! Happiness is an outdated desire because it's shallow, shaky, and short-lived. Not that I'm against wishing someone a happy birthday, clapping along with Pharrell Williams, or basking in fleeting moments of feeling truly happy—it's not that. Happiness isn't the enemy. Ice-cold water is dreadful if you're thrashing around in it in the middle of winter, but wonderful when you're sipping it with a squeeze of lemon on a hot summer’s day. What I'm proposing is that we humans have evolved beyond seeking happiness and have developed a more sophisticated palate for contentment and fulfillment. The Better Mental Fitness Framework is centered around this principle, and I invite you to calculate your Bounce Score as a first step towards determining a clear, direct correlation between what's got you here on your self-care journey, and what else you might explore to boost your mental fitness so you can feel even better about who you are and what you do in life and work. It won't be about happiness. But it will complement what you've achieved already–especially considering your enriching and empowering connection to Beth and her work. Rate each individual question from 10 (high) to 1 (low): Guide: 9–10 phenomenal | 8 flourishing | 6–7 doing well | 5 hmm | 3–4 uh-oh | 1–2 oh sh*t
Once you've answered each question you've addressed the relatively straightforward part—you have raised your level of awareness. Now it's time to take that information, integrate it with what you know about yourself, and what you gain is understanding. So far so good. Here's the moment where we throw all formulas out the window, because there's not one clear, linear path for us all to tread that leads from merely understanding to improving your levels of contentment and fulfillment. Hell, there's not even one path for you, or even one path for you on this singular day. It's constantly changing and the most enthralling aspect of all is how autonomy is such an enormous factor. You are the only person on the planet who can discern, decipher, or decide on what to think, feel or do to feel better. Clarity—by you, for you. Don't you just love that?! I know you do, because you're a fan of Beth. Her work offers this also—with five layers of being human intricately woven into threads of clarity, contentment, and resilience—towards an enlightened existence. And with no right or wrong way of interpreting how each of the five layers from the kosha model correspond to the five cornerstones of mental fitness, I invite you to integrate them in whichever way suits and supports you well. Thanks for reading, I hope you found something useful, interesting, valuable, or relevant for you. I warmly wish you well on your mental fitness journey! Aran  Author, Better: Boost Your Mental Fitness: View on Amazon Founder, Mental Fitness For Humans Strength training tips |
Archives
October 2026
AuthorBETH GIBBS started her yoga practice in 1968, four months after her son was born and she’s been practicing ever since. She currently teaches all levels therapeutic yoga classes for adults, and specialty classes for seniors in the Hartford, Connecticut area. Beth is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists and is guest faculty at the Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy. She writes for the blogs, Yoga for Healthy Aging, and Accessible Yoga. Her master’s degree from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA is in Yoga Therapy and Mind/Body Health. Categories |
RSS Feed
|
Enlighten Up! a Blog
|
Copyright © 2025 Beth Gibbs