ENLIGHTEN UP! a blogSelf-awareness stories: lighting our way to clarity, contentment and resilience in a complicated world.
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 This is the fifth post in my blog series based on Bitchcraft, Owning Your Power in a Complicated World. If you missed the previous posts, you can read them here. H is for Humanity. The Virtues Project defines humanity as “an attitude of caring and mercy toward all people.” All people are the keywords here. They include recognizing and extending caring and mercy to those who are very different from us and those we disagree with or dislike for any number of reasons. What happens when we as individuals, groups or a country dehumanize others? Dehumanization is a process that strips a person or a group of their humanity, either by discrediting their inherent value as human beings or denying them basic human rights. The process involves perceiving or treating others as less than human, often by denying their individuality, seeing them as ‘threats’ to our perception of what the world should look like, or putting people in boxes and creating an ‘us’ vs. them’ mentality. This often results in calling people animals or vermin, saying someone is crazy or insane, or calling someone alien or illegal. These are all forms of dehumanization. And denying the humanity of others is not wise or healthy for our own well-being. Why? Think of it this way. If you strip humanity from those you dislike, disagree with or dismiss as ‘other,’ you lose your own humanity in the process. The Virtues Project agrees. “We lose our humanity whenever we generalize about a group of people and separate ourselves from them because of external characteristics such as race or sex.” From the spiritual AND scientific perspectives everything and everyone is connected at the deepest level by energy (I believe this); and if this is ultimately proven to be true (I believe it will be), then there is no they, or other. There is only us. Does this mean we are prohibited from recognizing differences, disliking or disagreeing with others. Oh, hell to the no! We all have an absolute right to show up and be heard; to express our beliefs and values. When we are confronted by those who other us, dislike and disagree with us or when we find ourselves othering, disliking and disagreeing with others, we’ll need to take responsibility for making the effort to understand and respect their humanity in spite of our differences, disagreements and dislikes. Acknowledging the humanity of others even as their words and actions may deny ours is practicing your Bitchcraft skills at the highest level. To accomplish this, it’s important to understand the difference between acceptance and approval. According to PeaceCounseling.org, acceptance is the pure state of “I receive you as you are.” It’s the ability to see others, and have others see you as a human being, to value, and understand that you and everyone else on the planet has a right to their own expression of who they are and what they believe. We all need to accept the humanity of others, especially in these troubled times. However, it’s also important to understand that accepting and recognizing the humanity of others does not mean approving of them or their actions. By definition, approval means agreeing, condoning, sanctioning, or endorsing someone or something. We have a responsibility to accept the humanity of others. BUT, and this is a big BUT; we do not have to approve of beliefs, actions or values that we disagree with. Understanding and working with this concept is adult thinking and behavior. But as Kelly Clarkson says in a Wayfair commercial, “Uh huh, adulting ain’t easy.” She’s right. It’s not easy. If you find yourself denying the humanity of those you disapprove of or disagree with, here are a few ‘adulting’ suggestions for recognizing the humanity of others whether it’s you having a problem with them or them having a problem with you. Try these creative ways to respond to uncomfortable situations that make you want to scream.
And remember to check yourself. When and how do you deny the humanity of others? Let this quote from Desmond Tutu be a guide, "My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together."
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 This is the fourth post in my blog series based on Bitchcraft, Owning Your Power in a Complicated World. If you missed the previous posts, you can read them here. C is for Creativity, which is defined as an experience where something new and unique is formed. It might be an idea, a piece of art, a recipe, a new self-care routine or a creative way to respond to the uglies of life. Twyla Tharp, an American dancer, choreographer, and author said, “Creativity is an act of defiance.” I think she means there are many challenges to letting your creative flag fly. They range from the belief that you don’t have a creative bone in your body, to risk avoidance, fear of stepping outside your comfort zone or the dreaded imposter syndrome of doubt – I’m not good enough. This is especially true when your personal manner and way of expressing your creativity is challenged either by an external experience or an internal one. The first time I faced an external challenge to my creativity was in the third grade. The teacher told us a story about a princess who loved a handsome commoner. Her father, the king, disapproved and had her lover imprisoned to await trial in the public colosseum. When the day came, the young man stood in the center. On each side of him was a door. Behind one was a tiger who would kill him. Behind the other was a woman he would be forced to marry. The princess was told she would decide his fate. Either way she would lose him. The young man looked at the princess. She pointed to the door on the right. The story leaves the ending to the reader: "And so I leave it with all of you: Which came out of the opened door – the lady, or the tiger?" Our assignment was to choose. Several of my classmates chose the lady, others chose the tiger. I let my creative flag fly. An idea popped into my head and without a further thought, I went with it and said she chose the door with the tiger but as the tiger rushed to kill her lover, the princess pulled a dagger from her cape and plunged it into her heart so they would be together in heaven. My ending was different from everyone else’s. I liked it. My teacher did not. She was a former Catholic nun and read me the riot act about suicide; an unforgiveable sin resulting in an eternity in hell. I was shocked and surprised by her reaction but because I can be stubborn, I stuck by my ending. If I wanted to gain the approval of the teacher, I might have changed my ending but even back then I somehow ‘got’ that my choice was uniquely creative and mine, so I stuck with it in spite of my teacher’s disapproval. Sometimes the challenge to creativity comes from our internal saboteur. That may be because when creativity is mentioned most of us think of famous artists and the lucky few who, write, dance, act, and sing on national and global stages. But it’s important to understand that creativity also plays out in everyday activities. For example, have you ever completed a difficult puzzle, solved a problem, decorated your living room, won a contest, or played on a winning sports team? How about creating a new recipe from leftovers, figuring out how to fix a running toilet or responding to an otherizing experience with a level of Bitchcraft skills where you took your power back and watched the offender’s mouth drop open with shock and surprise? That’s creativity too and when we embrace it, we shut the inner saboteur up and enjoy sharing our creativity however it expresses itself. As it turns out, creativity is an essential part of being human. According to Psychology Today, being creative fosters resilience, sparks joy, and provides opportunities for self-actualization, which is another way of owning your power. Your creative process and your creations are like your fingerprint; different from anyone else’s because the spark that sets off your process is filtered through your unique perspective, your talent, your skills and your life experiences. Someone I’ve known for many years loves to make quilts. She says she’d like to stop but she can’t because quilting helps keep her from going crazy. That’s a sure sign of the creative process at work. Mine manifests in words. One of the items on my bucket list was to write and publish three books. I did that, but like my quilter friend, I can’t stop writing. It keeps me from going crazy. The process of how you manifest your creativity is a journey. It’s what takes you from the spark of inspiration to your final result. No matter the form your creativity takes, the process can be, and often is, messy, frustrating, soul-filling, exhausting, exciting, complex and ultimately self-actualizing. Here are a few suggestions for putting Twyla Tharp’s words into action to support your creative efforts.
As you learn what creativity means in your life, embrace it, embody it and share it with others who support you. When you figure it out go full steam and embrace your creative spirit in whatever form it takes. |
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AuthorBETH GIBBS started her yoga practice in 1968, four months after her son was born and she’s been practicing ever since. She currently teaches all levels therapeutic yoga classes for adults, and specialty classes for seniors in the Hartford, Connecticut area. Beth is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists and is guest faculty at the Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy. She writes for the blogs, Yoga for Healthy Aging, and Accessible Yoga. Her master’s degree from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA is in Yoga Therapy and Mind/Body Health. Categories |
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