Enlighten Up! a blog

Self-Care: 4 Ways 4 You

9/1/2023

Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. - Eleanor Brown

Too many of us move through life running on empty as we face demanding personal, professional and societal challenges. If we want to fix, or manage what we face, (or as a last resort accept it) we’ll need to find ways to bring more rest and self-care into our daily lives.

Of course, we’ve all seen articles full of suggestions on how to do this. For example, one ‘how-to’ article I read last year included a list of ways to keep healthy and build stress hardiness. It listed the usual: limiting sugar, drinking more water, getting enough rest, and, of course, exercise. We know these things but sometimes we find ourselves so drained and exhausted that rest and self-care falls to the bottom of our endless ‘to-do’ lists.

Before we jump on the self-care bandwagon, it helps to take a moment to understand what drains our energy and keeps us from taking better care of ourselves. Here are a few ideas to consider.

Impatience. Feeling impatient much? Impatience is usually triggered when we want, or need, to accomplish something and suddenly realize that it’s going to require more energy, time and work than we thought. Impatience can leave us feeling annoyed, anxious, agitated, and frustrated.

Long to-do lists. Super busy? When managing a busy schedule, and a long to-do list, it can be difficult to find time to fit in your yoga practice, take a walk or go to the gym.

Stress. Stressed out? Is work piling up? Are you suffering from an overdose of OPE (other people’s energy)? Are you feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. If so, you have a heaping helping of unhelpful stress knocking at your mind/body door.

Otherization. Have you been otherized? If you regularly find yourself on the receiving end of statements or actions that make you feel ‘less than,’ disrespected, betrayed, lied to or made to feel like an outcast, you’ve been otherized. Being otherized is incredibly draining.

We all experience impatience, stress and times when we are super busy. Many of us have to add otherization to that soul-draining list. However, with a little awareness it’s always possible to address the draining with mini self-care breaks. Carving out 2-5 minutes during busy times is a practical way to do this. It will take a bit of self-awareness and discipline but it can have a positive effect on our physical and mental well-being.

It’s important to point out that self-care for you might not mean the same thing for your best friend and it might even change for you over time. In an article at Every Day Health, Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist based in the greater New York metropolitan area says, “What is self-care for one person will likely differ from someone else, and what’s self-care for you one day might not feel like self-care another day,” (https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/). In addition, the benefits of self-care have been rigorously researched. If in doubt, do an online search. Remember, Google is your friend (most of the time!).

Here are a few accessible yoga based suggestions to add to your daily life. And yes, I do one or more of these on a regular basis.

Quick Mind/Body Tune Up
Stretch in bed when you wake up in the morning or from a nap — if you’re fortunate enough to find time to take one!

Roll your wrists and ankles in little circles in one direction and then in the other.
Inhale and contract all the muscles of the lower body, Exhale.
Inhale and make fists of the hands, tightening all the muscles of the upper body and face, head and neck. Exhale.
Inhale as you roll your head toward your left shoulder. Exhale.
Inhale and roll your head toward your right shoulder. Exhale.
Repeat three times or more if you are comfortable.

4:4 Breathing
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, standing in line at the grocery store or waiting in a doctor’s office, try 4:4 Breathing to help you calm your nervous system.

Inhale to your own personal four-count saying silently to yourself, “Inhale, two, three, four.”
Exhale saying silently to yourself, “Exhale, two, three, four.”
Repeat and continue for 2-3 minutes or longer if you are comfortable.

Shake It Off
If you find yourself in a mid-afternoon 3:00 p.m. energy slump, skip the coffee or the soda and try Shake It Off to energize your body, increase oxygen levels in the bloodstream, stimulate your nervous system, and help with mental focus.

Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart.
Bend your knees slightly and begin to shake your legs.
Next shake your wrists, and move the shaking up your arms to your shoulders.
Invite your head to join the party if that feels comfortable.
Feel free to raise your arms or bend forward or backward.
Shake your body for 2-5 minutes.
When done, simply stand, or sit quietly and feel the effects of this self-care break.

Child’s Pose
This calms your nervous system and reduces the effects of anxiety and stress.

Instructions

Put a blanket or exercise mat on the floor to cushion your knees.
Start on your hands and knees.
Sit back on your heels.
Drop your forehead to the floor.
Stretch your arms straight out in front of you or rest them back by your legs. If your forehead doesn’t feel comfortable on the floor, rest it on your folded arms or a pillow.
Stay in the position for two minutes or longer if you are comfortable.

Modifications

Do the pose in bed so you don’t have to get up and down from the floor. This is easier on the knees.
Do the pose at work. If you need to take a quick break, you can do this modification in a chair (or in a bathroom stall if you need privacy). Place your elbows on your lap and rest your head in your hands. Let your shoulders shrug up to your ears. Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath.
You can combine this with the 4:4 Breathing, if you like.

Once you’ve managed to add in some mindful self-care for living in our material world, you may be ready to take your yoga and self-care journey to the next level. You can read about what that might entail in this blog post from my colleague Barrie Risman.
https://www.barrierisman.com/blog/self-care

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Finding Your ‘G’ Spot

8/3/2023

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LOL! This is not a post about sex. It’s about Gratitude. But gratitude is sexy and an essential part of positive relationships – so say the experts.

Gratitude is defined as being thankful and appreciative for something or someone. Finding an attitude of gratitude helps you live with a greater sense of well-being in spite of challenges, difficulties, and disappointments.

We can think of gratitude in both internal and external ways. These can be:

Good things and people in the world (external)
Our ability to recognize and affirm the good in the world (internal)
Gifts, help, luck and life benefits received (external)
Our ability to appreciate life and what we’ve received (internal)
Relating to self and others compassionately in spite of challenges (internal and external)

Research shows that gratitude can activate the production of dopamine and serotonin in the brain, the "feel good" chemicals that promote feelings of peace and contentment, reduce anxiety and enhance sleep patterns. It also shows that a gratitude practice provides those benefits in spite of challenges, difficulties, and disappointments. That’s good news!

How long do those benefits last? The answer is: it depends. Like exercising, healthy eating, and living a clutter-free lifestyle, developing a consistent gratitude practice can sustain and enhance the benefits. An attitude of gratitude helps us find a measure of contentment with who we are, what we have, and how we can live with more clarity and resilience.

An attitude of gratitude helps us remain centered and peaceful; not getting too upset when daily glitches and messy life situations show up (and they will) and not getting too excited when things go 100% the way we hoped (and we always hope they will). Finding the middle ground is not always easy but practicing gratitude is one way to find it consciously and more often. And practicing gratitude is a choice and a skill that we can learn. If we choose to work with gratitude in our everyday lives, we’ll keep those "feel good" chemicals flowing.

To find your ‘G’ spot, try the following suggestions that can be done anytime throughout the day. I practice all three.

Gratitude for the Breath
When we are dealing with illness, pain, or physical limitations, it can be hard to feel or experience an attitude of gratitude for our bodies. However, as long as we are alive we can consciously experience gratitude for the act of breathing. Consciously coordinating breath and movement is a deep practice. Taking a breath in as we raise an arm or a leg can feel empowering. Exhaling while we lower an arm or leg can bring a restful release. We can be consciously grateful for each breath and movement accomplished. If some or all of the body is unable to move, we can focus on moving the breath, feeling grateful for each inhalation and each exhalation.

Breathing happens whether we pay attention to it or not. When we point our awareness and attention toward the breath, we can use it to deepen an attitude of gratitude. Here is a powerful practice.

Gratitude Breath Practice
1. Bring yourself to a comfortable position, seated or lying down.
2. Place your full attention on your breath.
3. Begin to notice the four parts of your breathing process:

Your inhalation
The slight pause before you exhale
Your exhalation
The slight pause before you inhale

4. Let the breath come and go naturally.
5. Silently say “Thank you” on the inhalation and again on the exhalation.
6. Spend three to five minutes watching the four parts of your natural breathing process and consciously practice gratitude.

Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that help us reinforce helpful, productive states of mind and well-being. When repeated often, they help to encourage a positive outlook. You can think of affirmations as a gratitude exercise for the mind. Affirmations are short and stated in the present tense: “I am” as opposed to “I will.”

Here is one that cultivates gratitude:

“Thank you for everything, I have no complaint whatsoever.”

This affirmation is often attributed to Sono, a female Zen master, who lived about 150 years ago. I use it because it helps me feel grateful and content.

Gratitude Popcorn
This is one of my favorite daily practices. When I take a moment to tune in to my surroundings a few times during the day, no matter how busy I am, something that I can be grateful for almost always "pops" into my consciousness. Here are a few examples.

During the oppressive heat and humidity of summer a cool breeze passes by to cool me down. I smile and whisper “Thank you.”

As a recovering perfectionist with a long daily "to do" list, my mind says, "Do it all!” When that happens, I feel anxiety creeping in. If I take a moment to tune into my body, I can hear it saying, "Edit! Edit! Edit!" If I follow through (I don’t always but I’m a work in progress, as are we all) I will take skillful action and choose three items for the day. Anxiety eases. I smile and whisper “Thank you.”

While watching the news, I see a story about someone struggling with a serious health condition. I reflect on my health, which is good in spite of aches, pains, moody blues, and minor chronic stuff. I smile and whisper “Thank you.”

To get your own bag of gratitude popcorn, remember to tune in to your surroundings a few times a day. If you do, something you can be grateful for will "pop" into your consciousness. Then smile and whisper “Thank you.”

Here is a quote that reminds me to practice being grateful:

“A contented heart is a calm sea in the midst of all storms.”
— Anonymous

Find your ‘G’ spot and let an attitude of gratitude be your boat.

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ENLIGHTEN UP! a blog

Self-Care: 4 Ways 4 You

Finding Your ‘G’ Spot

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