ENLIGHTEN UP! a blogSelf-awareness stories: lighting our way to clarity, contentment and resilience in a complicated world.
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 "One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life." — Chinese Proverb
As self-aware human beings we have the power to avoid many instances of disaster and ruin by transforming impatience into patience. A well-honed patience practice leads to skillful action, which can improve our daily lives and our efforts to make the world a better place. Patience is the ability to endure difficult circumstances. It helps us exhibit perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding with annoyance and anger; or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with long-term difficulties. And oh, boy, does that resonate in these times with lockdowns, long lines, endless Zoom meetings, physical distancing and masks, along with generous helpings of personal, social and political provocation. There are many benefits to patience as a value, a virtue and a practice. Patient people:
Impatience is usually triggered when we want to accomplish something and suddenly realize that it’s going to require more energy, time and work than we thought. Impatience can leave us feeling annoyed, anxious, agitated, and frustrated. The first step in assessing how we can transform impatience into patience is to answer these questions:
The second step is to understand the upside to impatience. Viewed in this way impatience may be prompting us to:
Knowing when impatience is arising; knowing what triggered it and becoming self-aware of how we act when it does show up is key to transforming it. As a recovering perfectionist I am inherently an impatient person who needs to work diligently on a patience practice. Here are two examples of how that works in my daily life. 1. I love to write. When working on fiction or non-fiction, I often hit a block and get stuck, which gives rise to impatience. That’s a problem. When that happens, I have two choices: I can push forward and force words onto the page to ‘get it done’ or I can see it as a signal to take a break or a breath, practice patience and let the piece sit for a while, often overnight (or a few nights). This gives the words time to form and develop before I write them down — that’s a patience practice that promotes skillful action. 2. Impatience flares up when I’m waiting in a long line at the supermarket or sitting in stalled traffic. That’s a problem. I can react with irritation or see the situation as an opportunity to practice patience. I can choose skillful action and do some slow, deep breathing. I can recognize that the world will not end if I have to wait a few minutes before moving on to the next task on my to do list. This dynamic also works with major issues such as the Covid 19 pandemic, racial unrest, global warming, social injustice and financial inequality. The late congressman and civil rights activist John Lewis’ life is a shining example of this. It was impatience with racism, prejudice and social injustice that led him to write a letter to Dr. Martin Luther King and join the civil rights movement but it was the patience he learned, nurtured and sustained that led him to spend the rest of his life slowly, incrementally and painfully moving forward in spite of difficult circumstances. He exhibited patience in the face of political opposition, social delay and resistance. He exhibited patience as he tolerated and managed the violence and provocation that came his way, and he used his patience practice to, “get into good trouble; necessary trouble.” Those of us who are ‘woke’ or waking up will find many opportunities to practice patience in our daily lives or within a larger social movement. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to recognize and transform impatience into patience and then select skillful actions to address what you are facing, whether it’s the social issues of the day, or personal issues, like waiting in long lines, dealing with difficult family situations or tackling the last item on your to-do list. How can you do that? Try sending yourself an S. O. S. — the universal distress signal. Stop. Observe. Select. When you find yourself faced with a problem, situation or issue that gives rise to impatience, Stop and Observe before Selecting an action that fits your highest intention. This will require self-awareness and a dose of delayed gratification. Instructions Stop! Tune into sensations in your body, breath/energy and ask yourself the following types of questions. Physical Body How is this situation, issue or problem manifesting in my body? Do I feel tightness, tension or pain anywhere? Are my fists or jaw clenched? Am I frowning? Does my back hurt? Breath/Energy Is my breathing full and deep? Is my breath shallow or stuck in my chest or throat? Am I feeling tired, or fatigued? Am I feeling blocked, stuck or held back? Observe: Witness the mind and emotions Have I accurately and clearly assessed my situation? Have I thought through the consequences? How will the consequences affect me? Others? What am I feeling? Anger? Fear? Aversion? Grief? Am I anxious? Restless? Annoyed? Frustrated? Am I feeling caught up in my drama? Should I take action now or give it more reflection? Select: Skillful Action After you have stopped to observe what is happening within your being, you can consciously select an action that will be for your highest intention and do the most good. Being aware of when impatience arises; and knowing what triggers it will help you understand how to transform it and take skillful action. Need more information? Read about the 5 Layers of Self Awareness.
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 “Clarity and focus doesn't always come from God or inspirational quotes. Usually, it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you.” - Shannon L. Alder Now that you’ve had a sorely needed laugh, let’s get serious about clarity. When we bring clarity to an issue, we see what is happening, correctly assess the situation and consciously choose to take right action. How do we get clear on what’s happening in America today? Our country’s lofty values of equality, democracy and opportunity for all, live side-by-side with a pre-existing condition we’ve suffered from for centuries – systemic racism, and prejudice, the main causes of social, legal and economic injustice. Some symptoms are; the decimation of indigenous peoples, enslavement of Africans and legal segregation through Jim Crow laws, internment of Japanese American citizens during world War II, and the separation and internment of South American migrant children from their families at the southern border. The latest horror of police abuse, the public killing of George Floyd, an unarmed African American man, that we witnessed in real time on our digital devices is one more symptom of this country’s dis-ease that needs to be healed. We can start the healing with vidya – clear seeing. Vidya, is the opposite of avidya - clouded perception. Avidya results from an inability to see the larger picture of our lives, our world and how we move through them; personally, professionally, socially, and culturally. Here is what happens when clouded perceptions influence our thinking and behavior:
It’s most often the influence and power of our unconscious thoughts, and implicit biases that cloud our perceptions and prevent right action. However, if our perception is correct and we are clear in our understanding, right action will likely result even if the outcome is not what we expected or hoped for. To get clear about systemic racism, and prejudice, we start with svadhyaya – study, and self-knowledge, to learn about the onset of our country’s dis-ease, track the course of it, become aware of the symptoms, overt and subtle, before deciding what action we might be willing to take. Consider this:
That’s a long time to be dealing with a chronic dis-ease. The diagnosis is clear but the treatment is complicated. We can view the Civil Rights Act as an attempt to manage the symptoms, but it has not and cannot cure the dis-ease. When we accept the fact of the diagnosis and the truth of the condition, we can start the healing within ourselves to bring clarity to our own clouded perceptions, blind spots, prejudices and implicit biases (we all have them). Then we can: Face it. Sometimes we need to take a step back and examine the presence of diversity and inclusion in our own lives. How diverse are our schools? Neighborhoods? Places of work? Friends? Social settings? If they are not we need to ask ourselves why. Trace it. Understand how and why it exists, and how and why we may be ignoring or denying this reality. Embrace it. Accept that it is unpleasant, and upsetting. We will need to sit with this discomfort because it is our current reality. Replace it. Consciously take right action in whatever form we choose. This process starts with each of us. I recently joined a peaceful protest in my town. It looked like many that we see on television – large, diverse and calling for change. When asked what actions we could take to make a difference, the speaker said, “If you see something, say something, and then do something.” Here are three things we can do. 1. VOTE in November. The yoga community is doing its part to help. Find out more at: https://www.yoginsunited.com/vote 2. Do your research. You can donate to relevant organizations, join grass roots efforts or volunteer with programs that offer direct help. Here’s an excellent resource guide prepared by my colleague and friend Laura Kupperman (https://laurakupperman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AntiRacismResources_LKupperman.pdf ) 3. To increase mental clarity and openness to transformation, Joseph LePage’s book, Mudras for Healing and Transformation recommends Shunya Mudra. Shunya Mudra
Cautions: none.
“Clarity affords focus.” — Thomas Leonard |
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September 2020
AuthorBETH GIBBS started her yoga practice in 1968, four months after her son was born and she’s been practicing ever since. She currently teaches all levels therapeutic yoga classes for adults, and specialty classes for seniors in the Hartford, Connecticut area. Beth is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists and is guest faculty at the Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy. She writes for the blogs, Yoga for Healthy Aging, and Accessible Yoga. Her master’s degree from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA is in Yoga Therapy and Mind/Body Health. Categories |
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