ENLIGHTEN UP! a blogSelf-awareness stories: lighting our way to clarity, contentment and resilience in a complicated world.
|
 Why do so many of us love scary movies? Is it just personal preference? Is there science behind it?
Surprise! There is science behind it. Lindsay Holmes, Huffpost’s Senior Wellness Editor, discusses this in her article, “The Psychology Behind Why You Love Or Hate Scary Movies.” And like everything else, the issue is complicated and there is no, one-size fits all. The bottom line seems to be related to how we respond to stress. Some of us are wired to enjoy the energy and heightened stimulation that comes from being terrified and others find it exhausting, draining and way too intense. That’s me. Frankly, I’d rather be stuck in a traffic jam on the Los Angeles Freeway than watch a horror movie. Being stuck would be stressful but I’d have some calming choices. I could people watch, listen to music or daydream. In spite of the fascination (or not) with horror and all things dark and scary we don’t have to look outside of ourselves for ghosts, goblins and things that go bump in the night. If we care to look inside, we can catch a glimpse of our Shadow. In psychological terms, the Shadow is considered the dark side of our personality, which holds our demons. It is the part of us that we either do not know, don’t want to know and refuse to acknowledge. However, if we choose to understand and deal with our scary parts, we will uncover positive aspects of the Shadow. These stay hidden until the light of self-awareness reaches the dark corners of the self where the Shadow lives. We are like the moon, waxing and waning with one side facing outward, presenting to the world what we think the world needs to see in order to give us the approval and love we seek. Then there is the Shadow, our demons and those parts of us that we work hard to hide because we think they are unacceptable. Most of us prefer to deny that we have a Shadow side. We find ways to hide it in the recesses of our subconscious. Does this work in the long term? Sadly no, because the Shadow and its demons cannot and will not stay locked up forever. They claw and scream and shout. They leak out, climb up and invade our mental peace, mess with our health and wreak havoc with our lives. We may want to curse them six ways to Sunday, but they are in there, talking trash, taking names and they seldom, if ever, take a day off. So we have to find a way to listen to what they have to say. I spent most my childhood and adult life either pushing my Shadow away or refusing to acknowledge that it was there. At this stage of life I recognize, acknowledge and listen to my Shadow and the little demons within it that say, “Go ahead, take the cookie, eat the cookie, have another, add some chocolate, french fries and ice cream.” Or, “Buy that dress, have that extra drink. Let’s gossip about that person, skip the gym, or quit the gym altogether.” I hear those voices now and can answer, I hear you but that’s a no-no for me! That is except for chocolate – I have a sweet tooth. That’s going to take a bit more time and a lot more discipline. Then there are the darker parts of the Shadow who say, “You’re a fake and a failure. You have no talent or skills. No matter what you do, you will never be enough so pack it in and quit trying.” I still hear those Shadow voices but I have enough self-awareness to answer back, “I hear you, but that’s just not true or in my best interest to believe at this time.” OK, OK! I can do that most of the time but like everyone else, I have my bad, sad blue days when I have to remind myself that the Shadow and its sneaky demons are actually guides and teachers leading me to self-awareness. Regina Barreca, an educator and humorist, offers a perfect example of this. Her story titled, “An Emotional Rescue in the Dark Night of the Soul,” appeared in her book, If You Lean in, Men Will Just Look Down Your Blouse. It illustrates the principles of awareness, acceptance, and integration of all parts of our selves, especially the Shadow and our demons. I LOVE this story. In the story, three demons decided to ambush a woman who lived alone. They were manifestations of her worst nightmares, fear, anxiety, and despair. They broke into her house and for hours upon end, they ruined what she held dear and disfigured what she cherished. They were enormously confident because they saw that she was all alone and past her first youth. As they continued into the wee hours of the night they began to notice that although weary, the woman had calmly begun to boil water on the stove and set out three cups on the table. When they asked in astonishment what she was doing, the woman stared at them tolerantly and said, “I know all of you by now. You’ve been here before, and you’ll be here again. You might as well make yourselves at home. What kind of tea would you like? The woman was not shattered into pieces because her demons paid a visit. She did not fight them. She simply became aware of them, observed them, and accepted them. And because she also accepted ALL of herself, she was able to manage their impact on her life. If you choose to do this (and I highly recommend it) it will ground you in compassion and forgiveness first toward yourself and then toward others. You won’t be comfortable with everything you find when you begin poking around in your psyche. This self-examination requires that you examine your lifestyle, thinking, behavior patterns, and those aspects of yourself that you dislike, deny, repress and hide. That’s the juicy stuff. Yes, it is complicated, and can be hard. In the end, the only way to Enlighten Up! is to honestly and accurately shine the light of awareness onto your Shadow and its demons. See them. Name them. Accept them and then transform them. They are a part of you. And if you need help with the process, please get it! Here is a poem that reinforces the importance of this practice. Written by Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet, it’s titled, “The Guest House.”1 In it we see that the Shadow and its demons have been at work in our lives for centuries. The Guest House This being human is a guest house. Every morning, a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. Spend a few moments letting these words sink in. Now have a cup of tea with your Shadow and its demons. Listen with an open mind and heart to what they have to say. 1. The Essential Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks with John Moyne, Harper Collins, 1995, Page 109
0 Comments
 “Step with great care and great tact, and remember that life’s a great balancing act.”
— Dr. Seuss Good point! Let’s get our balancing act together! Due to a variety of cognitive and physiological issues our ability to balance changes as we age. How we face that reality is important because improving our ability to balance is the best way to prevent falls, and live longer in an optimally healthy state. Some of the changes we face as we age are inevitable but with knowledge, prevention and rehabilitation we can regain some level of physical balance and decrease the risk of falling and injury. The dictionary definition of physical balance is: “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.” There are two primary types of physical balance: 1. Static balance is the ability to maintain a position without moving, such as standing in a long line in the supermarket, reaching away from your body without falling or standing on one foot. 2. Moving balance allows you to maintain your balance while walking, climbing stairs, stepping up and down on a curb, exercising or performing daily activities and tasks. Moving is like breathing for me and I’m really good at it. I move from the first moment my foot hits the floor in the morning to the last moment when that same foot completes my plop into bed at night. I have been known to stop in the middle of the day and ‘dance like nobody’s watching.’ Of course, I have my ‘slouch on the couch’ time (who doesn’t) but I don’t stay still for too long. I also notice that I move more from fall through spring. Summer heat saps my energy so I move less from June through August and when I do move, I move slowly. If you find moving balance difficult, because of a physical condition, vision problem or fear of falling you may limit your activities, which in turn will limit your independence. If you are challenged by moving balance here are two suggestions to try. Heel-Toe Walking Benefits: strengthens the leg and trunk muscles and improves coordination 1. Begin by standing straight on firm flooring (no carpets or rugs). 2. Hold onto a counter, table or wall if you need extra support. 3. Lift your toes and the balls of your feet off the ground and balance on your heels. 4. Walk several feet on your heels while keeping your body upright. 5. Return to your starting position by lifting your heels off the floor and walking the distance on your toes. 6. Repeat the entire exercise 2 more times. 7. Try to do this twice a day until your moving balance improves. Jack-In-The-Box Benefits: strengthens the leg and trunk muscles and improves coordination 1. Begin by standing straight on firm flooring (no carpets or rugs). 2. Hold onto a counter, table or wall if you need extra support. 3. Shoes can be on or off but keep your feet together and your torso straight. 4. Bend your knees and lift your heels off the floor as you straighten your legs and raise your arm (or arms if you are not holding onto a support) overhead. 5. Hold for 3 to 5 breaths. 6. Work up to 2 sets of 8 repetitions. 7. Try to do this 3 times a week until your moving balance improves. On to static balance, which, for me, is another matter entirely. It’s been a lifelong challenge, in part, I suspect, from three structural misalignments in my pelvis, which is rotated and tilted with one side higher that the other. Sigh. If I find myself having to stand in one position for a long time, I have to shift from one foot to the other to keep my hips from stiffening and giving me the sensation that they are locking up. In terms of my yoga practice, balance poses have never been among my favorites and I actively avoided them. However, once I learned the importance of good balance as a way of reducing the risk of falling and injury, I decided to work with my dislike of balance, realign my mindset and as Cher said to Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck, “Snap out of it!” It’s been a few years but I can confidently say that with practice, and a consistent routine of pelvic alignment exercises that I learned from Lee Albert, founder of Integrative Positional Therapy (leealbert.com), I am much better at static balance. If you are challenged by static balancing here are two suggestions to try. Standing Balance Exercise I learned this from Ruth Bender, my very first yoga teacher. She’s no longer with us but you can still find her books and information online if you search for: ruthbenderyoga Benefits: strengthens the muscles in the feet and legs 1. Stand behind your chair and hold on with both hands. 2. Stand on your right foot, bend your left knee and raise your left foot to the back. 3. Hold this position to the count of five. 4. Stand on your left foot, bend your right knee and raise your right foot to the back. 5. Hold this position to the count of five. 6. Increase the holding time every day for a few seconds to reach the recommended time of 30 seconds. 7. After a few weeks of practice try to do it with your hands off the chair but keep your hands close ‘just in case.’ Note: For more of a challenge, you can gradually work up to one to two minutes, practice with your eyes closed, and/or practice on more uneven surfaces such as a carpet, grass or sand. Seated Boat Pose Benefits: strengthen the core, which is closely related to the ability to balance 1. Sit about halfway forward in your chair with your feet on the floor. 2. With your arms out to the side at shoulder height, exhale, contract your abdominal muscles, keep your left knee bent and raise the left foot off the floor. Hold for three breaths. You may choose to lean backward and let the chair support your back. 3. On an inhalation lower the left foot. 4. Repeat this sequence on the right side. 5. Repeat steps 1 through 4 a few times or on an exhalation, lean back, contract your abdominal muscles, raise both feet, and hold for three breaths. 6. Slowly increase the holding time to five breaths or more if you are comfortable. In my chair classes (ages 60 – 80+) most of the students accomplish this by slowly building up over time. Good luck working on your physical balance! |
Archives
October 2019
AuthorBETH GIBBS started her yoga practice in 1968, four months after her son was born and she’s been practicing ever since. She currently teaches all levels therapeutic yoga classes for adults, and specialty classes for seniors in the Hartford, Connecticut area. Beth is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists and is guest faculty at the Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy. She writes for the blogs, Yoga for Healthy Aging, and Accessible Yoga. Her master’s degree from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA is in Yoga Therapy and Mind/Body Health. Categories |
RSS Feed
Copyright © 2019 Beth Gibbs