9 Steps to Self-Awareness: Steps 3 and 4. The Mind

In my last post, I explored Step 2: Becoming aware of your breath and energy states). In this post, I talk about Steps 3 & 4: Working with the Mind. The Taittiriya Upanishad, the philosophical and spiritual source of this contemporary view of self-awareness has this to say about the mind.

“The vital sheath is made of living breath.
Within it is contained the mental sheath, 
Which has the same form, - - - ”
 —The Upanishads, translation by Eknath Easwaran 

In the original translation by Eknath Easwaran, the words ‘same form’ were followed by Sanskrit terms whose meanings are hard to accurately translate into English. The best found were: a desire to learn, willingness and diligence to do the work, the courage to persevere, and the honesty to accept and work with the outcomes of what you find – all of it, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.

When we think of the mind we often include the brain but there are significant differences between them.

The Brain
Hippocrates was the first person (that we know of) to claim that the brain is the seat of consciousness. The brain is a visible, tangible part of the physical body. It weighs about 3.3 lbs. (1.5 kilograms) and makes up about two percent of a human's body weight. The brain contains billions of nerve fibers, which are connected by trillions of synapses. The brain is physical. During an autopsy, the brain can be seen, touched and dissected. 

The Mind
The mind is that intangible part of ourselves consisting of thoughts, emotions, ego, personality, attitudes, beliefs, imagination, perception and judgment. This is how we think, what we think about, how we express our emotions, what we pay attention to, and how we relate to ourselves, others and life in general. The mind is not physical. During an autopsy, the mind cannot be seen, touched or dissected. 

The tasks of the mind are to think, plan, analyze, judge, create, critique, and warn. Our thoughts and emotions are tools to help us perceive and understand what is happening within and around us. This involves understanding the what and the why of our thoughts, feelings and behavior.

Suppressing, repressing, ignoring or trying to rid ourselves of difficult thoughts, emotions or experiences is not helpful. The real goal is to recognize, become aware of, acknowledge and accept what we find with compassion and without judgment in order to perceive and consciously change, re-frame or accept what we find. We can do this by turning our attention to steps three and four of The Nine Steps to Self-Awareness:

Step 3. Identify your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Observe and label them. The WHAT.

• What am I thinking?
• What are my thoughts focused on? The past? The future? My current situation?
• What am I trying to do? Solve a problem? Get unstuck? Handle a difficult situation, etc.?
• What am I feeling? 
• Can I label the feeling? Is it pleasant, or upsetting?
• Am I feeling more than one emotion at the same time?
• Is there a pattern to my thoughts, and feelings?
• What will I do? What actions am I considering? 
• How am I expressing my thoughts and feelings through my behaviors? 

Step 4. Explore your beliefs. The WHY.

• Why do I believe what I believe about my current situation? 
• Is it connected to what I believe about myself? Why?
• Is it something I believe about others? Why?
• Is it something I believe about my life experience? Why?
• Is there a pattern to my beliefs? Why?
• Does this pattern lead to helpful or unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviors? Why?

Here’s an example of how steps 3 and 4 could play out in an everyday situation such as being stuck in traffic on the way to an appointment, a class or a friend’s house for dinner.


Step 3. Identify your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Observe and label them. The WHAT. 

• Thinking: Traffic is backed up. I’m going to be late.
• Feeling: I’m frustrated and irritated. 
• Behavior: My lips are tight and my hands are drumming the steering wheel.

Step 4. Explore your beliefs. Once you know the WHAT, ask yourself WHY.  

• Thinking: Traffic is backed up. Why? I don’t know. 
• Thinking: I’m going to be late. Why? No choice. I’ll have to wait. It is what it is.
• Feeling: I feel frustrated and irritated. Why? I don’t like waiting or being late. Why? It brings up fears of disappointing others and not being in control.
• Behavior: I’ll take some deep breaths, put on relaxing music and wait. If traffic doesn’t clear up in 10 minutes, I’ll call and let them know I’ll be late. Why? It’s the best solution for this situation.

Finding The Pause: Your Practice
Working with the mind requires the ability to observe what is going on within and around you ‘in the moment.’ One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard about how to do this came from Iyanla VanZant in her interview on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday (11/5/17). She said, simply, “Pause, Boo!”

When we need to practice paying attention or being ‘in the moment,’ we can always turn to the breath to find the all-important pause that allows us to consciously respond productively to whatever is happening within or around us. Here is one technique to try. It’s awareness of the four parts of breath. Two parts are fairly obvious. We inhale and we exhale. The other two parts are always there but unless we pay attention we may not notice them. They are the pause after we inhale before the exhale and the pause after the exhale before we inhale.

Becoming aware of and paying attention to these two pauses can help you, “Pause Boo!” Practicing when you are not in a difficult situation will help you call on this technique when you need it ‘in the moment.’

Instructions

1. Take a comfortable position, seated or lying down.
2. Begin by placing all of your attention on your breath without trying to change it in any way.
3. Notice your inhale and your exhale. Watch these two parts of your breath a few times as you become familiar with the effortless flow of breath in and out.
4. Then begin to notice that there is a momentary pause at the end of each inhale and at the end of each exhale.
5. Just let your awareness of the four parts of the breath continue without trying to change the inhale, the exhale or the length of the pauses in between. You may find that the pauses lengthen gradually and naturally. Your job is to notice with awareness.
6. During the practice you may find that when the breath pauses, so does the mind and your thoughts. Welcome to the ‘pause.’ 
7. Continue watching and noticing for 2 to 5 minutes or longer if you are comfortable. Set a timer if you need it.​

For the purposes of working with the mind, knowing how you are breathing ‘in the moment’ is key to finding the all-important pause and the awareness needed to work with the mind using steps 3 and 4 of the Nine Steps to Self-Awareness.

In next month’s post we’ll take our ‘stuck in traffic example’ and explore Step 5. Turn the mind back on itself and Step 6. Take skillful action.

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