"Sh*t Gets Real":Guest Post by Aran Dadswell

Warning - I say shit a fair bit I hope you don't mind all that much, and if you do, that you choose to read on with a forgiving heart.

At what age do we start taking proper care of ourselves? Obviously it depends on a multitude of variables: cultural, environmental, familial, individual, political, relational, social, and even technological. My hunch is it's deeply—and very individually—correlated to the age we are first exposed to genuine hardship or trauma. We respond like a meerkat alerted to danger even if "this shit just got real" doesn't necessarily hit us at a conscious level as it unfolds. For me, it wasn't until well into my late thirties that I finally got with the program, so to speak, triggered by grief and emotional turmoil reinforced with loss, sadness, and anger. And a few years beyond then to realize it.

I was honored when Beth invited me to write a guest blog post, and excited about the opportunity to share my take on mental fitness with her audience; people who are frequently practicing self-care, and aligned to Beth's "motion is lotion" philosophy to keep the mind and body strong and supple. Anyone who has the good fortune to receive Beth's profound wisdom, wit, and general awesomeness is in good hands when it comes to self-awareness, growth, and learning. Mental fitness is how you navigate through life. When I created the Better Mental Fitness Framework, it was designed with people like you in mind—to meet you right where you're at. It aims to harness, acknowledge, and celebrate all the efforts you've made to date to genuinely take care of yourself, thus creating a positive ripple effect for your family, friends, and community. 

Here's a new way to explore self-care through a slightly different lens with a simplistic schema to do so. Awareness enables information and knowledge to be transformed into understanding. That's an empowering virtuous circle to apply to something as unpredictable and dynamic as being human. But it requires clear intention to be effective.

This is where modern living delivers an unexpected plot twist. There's an invisible burden bestowed upon us with this continuing persuasive insistence that we should all aspire to be happy. I'm calling it out, here and now. Just as Beth has previously done with five layers of self-awareness that stretch well beyond the superficial. This stagnant focus is accentuating guilt and shame. Because who on earth can be happy in the 21st century, when there's so much shit going on?! Happiness is an outdated desire because it's shallow, shaky, and short-lived. Not that I'm against wishing someone a happy birthday, clapping along with Pharrell Williams, or basking in fleeting moments of feeling truly happy—it's not that. Happiness isn't the enemy. Ice-cold water is dreadful if you're thrashing around in it in the middle of winter, but wonderful when you're sipping it with a squeeze of lemon on a hot summer’s day.

What I'm proposing is that we humans have evolved beyond seeking happiness and have developed a more sophisticated palate for contentment and fulfillment. The Better Mental Fitness Framework is centered around this principle, and I invite you to calculate your Bounce Score as a first step towards determining a clear, direct correlation between what's got you here on your self-care journey, and what else you might explore to boost your mental fitness so you can feel even better about who you are and what you do in life and work. It won't be about happiness. But it will complement what you've achieved already–especially considering your enriching and empowering connection to Beth and her work.

Rate each individual question from 10 (high) to 1 (low):

Guide: 9–10 phenomenal | 8 flourishing | 6–7 doing well | 5 hmm | 3–4 uh-oh | 1–2 oh sh*t

• Togetherness (Bounce With): Today, how would you rate your sense of belonging and connection to others?
• Meaning (Bounce For): Today, how would you rate your sense of life's meaning, purpose, and overall significance?
• Resourcefulness (Bounce Through): Today, how would you rate your ability to think clearly, feel empowered, and take effective action? 

• Resilience (Bounce Back): Today, how would you rate your ability to navigate through and recover from adversity, challenges, and setbacks?
• Wellbeing (Bounce Well): Today, how would you rate your sense of inner harmony, vitality, and life satisfaction?

Once you've answered each question you've addressed the relatively straightforward part—you have raised your level of awareness. Now it's time to take that information, integrate it with what you know about yourself, and what you gain is understanding. So far so good. Here's the moment where we throw all formulas out the window, because there's not one clear, linear path for us all to tread that leads from merely understanding to improving your levels of contentment and fulfillment. Hell, there's not even one path for you, or even one path for you on this singular day. It's constantly changing and the most enthralling aspect of all is how autonomy is such an enormous factor. You are the only person on the planet who can discern, decipher, or decide on what to think, feel or do to feel better.

Clarity—by you, for you. Don't you just love that?!

I know you do, because you're a fan of Beth. Her work offers this also—with five layers of being human intricately woven into threads of clarity, contentment, and resilience—towards an enlightened existence. And with no right or wrong way of interpreting how each of the five layers from the kosha model correspond to the five cornerstones of mental fitness, I invite you to integrate them in whichever way suits and supports you well.

Thanks for reading, I hope you found something useful, interesting, valuable, or relevant for you.

I warmly wish you well on your mental fitness journey!
Aran

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Author, Better: Boost Your Mental Fitness:
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Founder, Mental Fitness For Humans Strength training tips

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