Building Bridges: And making repairs

"Voyager, there are no bridges, one builds them as one walks."    ---  Gloria Anzaldúa

I first read this on a calendar of inspirational daily quotes many years ago. The quote was printed on the page for December 28th. It spoke volumes to me so I ripped it out and stuck it to my refrigerator. It has been with me through four refrigerators and three moves.

Does this quote have significance to my life and yours? Yes, it does. We build relationship bridges of friendship and intimacy with others but the most important bridge we can build, repair, maintain or upgrade is the one between our mind and our intuitive wisdom so we can cross back and forth with ease.

First we need to understand the mind. The mind is clever. Some even say the mind is a bullshit artist, telling us what we want to think and believe about ourselves and the state of our relationships with family, work, friends, likes and dislikes. How can we become aware of, and differentiate our mental bullshit habits from the important work our mind does? Simple. We have to wise up.

Why? Well, when we’re stuck in our mental bullshit, we are caught in our own drama and all too often can’t see beyond it. Intuitive wisdom gives us clarity about what we are thinking, believing and doing. It allows us to see and understand the why of what we think, believe and do and where those thoughts and beliefs came from.

Here’s a visual. Imagine a two-lane bridge with three sections. What does yours look like? The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco? The George Washington Bridge in New York? Or maybe it’s that cute little wooden bridge you walk across on your favorite hike. Now see that a section of the bridge on one end is your mind and a second section on the other end is intuitive wisdom. The middle section of this bridge is shared by both the mind and wisdom. If the middle section is damaged and the two-lanes blocked, we won’t gain clarity about the what and the why of our own mental drama. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to keep the middle section in good repair and the two lanes cleared of debris in order for messages to go back and forth. Here’s an example of how this works.

A core belief of “I’m not good enough,” can exist on both the mind section and the wisdom sections of the bridge. On the wisdom end, I’m not good enough, might be seen, and sourced as messages of unworthiness from family, friends, society and ourselves for any number of reasons like, race, sex, gender identification, class, physical or mental ability. On the mind end of the bridge, I’m not good enough, might be believed and expressed through depression, unhelpful attitudes, addictions and other self-sabotaging behaviors.

However, our wisdom, seeing where it comes from, and knowing that the core belief of, I’m not good enough, is not true, does its best to send that message to the mind over the middle section of the bridge. If the two lanes are blocked, damaged or have deep potholes, that message might not get across, but if your bridge is in good repair, the mind will receive the I am good enough, message, and may recognize where the I’m not good enough belief came from and why you believed it. In either case, steps can be taken to make a choice for positive change, keep the status quo with full knowledge of the consequences or find acceptance if change is not possible.

My favorite example of how the middle section of the mind/wisdom bridge can be repaired comes from a young boy who enrolled in the yoga program I organized for a summer camp. In addition to classes we were trying out yoga ‘interventions’ as a way to reduce the number of suspensions. If children were fighting or misbehaving and in danger of being sent home, they first went to see one of the yoga teachers who taught them some basic practices focused on self-awareness and centering. One young boy, who regularly got into fights, was taught to use a calming breath to help him make wiser choices. After his session he told the teacher, “I didn’t know I had a choice about how I act.”

In that moment, he cleared the middle section of his mind/wisdom bridge. He made the connection between what he thought and how he behaved. When we, like this boy, take the time to remove blocks of misunderstanding and misperception between our everyday mind and our intuitive wisdom, our lives will be easier to manage, even with the inevitable bumps we all experience.

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