C is for Caring: Embodying self-care

This is the sixth post in my blog series based on Bitchcraft, Owning Your Power in a Complicated World. If you missed the previous posts, you can read them here. 


Too many of us move through life running on empty as we face demanding personal, professional and societal challenges. If we want to fix, or manage what we face, or accept it if fixing and managing are no longer options, we’ll need to find ways to bring more rest and caring into our daily lives. And by caring, I mean first caring for self, because when we care for ourselves, we have more desire, energy, and will to care for others.


Of course, we’ve all seen articles full of suggestions on how to do this. For example, one ‘how-to’ article I read last year included a list of ways to keep healthy and build stress hardiness. It listed the usual: limiting sugar, drinking more water, getting enough rest, and, of course, exercise. We know these things, but sometimes we find ourselves so drained and exhausted that rest and self-care falls to the bottom of our endless ‘to-do’ lists. Before we jump on the self-care bandwagon, it helps to take a moment to understand what drains our energy and keeps us from taking better care of ourselves. Here are a few reasons to consider.


Impatience. Impatience is usually triggered when we want or need to accomplish something and suddenly realize it’s going to require more energy, time and work than we thought. Impatience can leave us feeling annoyed, anxious, agitated, and frustrated.


Long to-do lists. When managing a busy schedule and a long to-do list, it can be difficult to find or set aside time to practice those healthy lifestyle activities we know are necessary.


Stress. Is work piling up? Are you suffering from an overdose of OPE (other people’s energy)? Are you feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. If so, you have a heaping helping of unhelpful stress knocking at your mind/body door.


Otherization. If you regularly find yourself on the receiving end of statements or actions that make you feel ‘less than,’ disrespected, betrayed, lied to or made to feel like an outcast, you’ve been otherized. Being otherized is incredibly draining.


We all experience impatience, stress and times when we are super busy. Many of us have to add otherization to that soul-draining list. However, with a little awareness it’s always possible to address the draining with mini self-care breaks. Carving out 2-5 minutes during busy times is a practical way to do this. It will take a bit of discipline but it can have a positive effect on our physical and mental well-being.


It’s important to point out that caring for yourself might not mean the same thing for your best friend and it might even change for you over time. In an article in Every Day Health, Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist based in the greater New York metropolitan area says, “What is self-care for one person will likely differ from someone else, and what’s self-care for you one day might not feel like self-care another day,”


With those facts in mind here are a few accessible yoga based suggestions to add to your daily life. And yes, I do one or more of these on a regular basis.


Quick Mind/Body Tune Up
Stretch in bed when you wake up in the morning or from a nap  — if you’re fortunate enough to find time to take one!
Instructions

1. Roll your wrists and ankles in little circles in one direction and then in the other.
2. Inhale and contract all the muscles of the lower body, Exhale.
3. Inhale and make fists of the hands, tightening all the muscles of the upper body and face, head and neck. Exhale.
4. Inhale as you roll your head toward your left shoulder.  Exhale.
5. Inhale and roll your head toward your right shoulder.  Exhale.
6. Repeat three times or more if you are comfortable.

4:4 Breathing
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, standing in line at the grocery store or waiting in a doctor’s office, try 4:4 Breathing to help you calm your nervous system.
Instructions

1. Inhale to your own personal four-count saying silently to yourself, “Inhale, two, three, four.”
2. Exhale saying silently to yourself, “Exhale, two, three, four.” 
3. Repeat and continue for 2-3 minutes or longer if you are comfortable.

Child’s Pose
This calms your nervous system and reduces the effects of anxiety and stress.
Instructions

1. Put a blanket or exercise mat on the floor.
2. On your hands and knees, keep your feet together and separate your knees.
3. Sit back on your heels.
4. Drop your forehead to the floor. If your forehead does not reach the floor, stack one fist on top of the other and rest your forehead on your hands.
5. If your forehead does reach the floor, stretch your arms straight out in front of you or rest them back by your legs and feet.
6. Stay in the position for two minutes or longer if you are comfortable.

Modifications

• Do the pose in bed so you don’t have to get up and down from the floor. This is easier on the knees.
• Do the pose at work. If you need to take a quick break, you can do this modification in a chair (or in a bathroom stall if you need privacy). Place your elbows on your lap and rest your head in your hands. Let your shoulders shrug up to your ears. Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath.
• You can combine this with the 4:4 Breathing, if you like.

Before you make a final decision on any technique or program, make sure to pause and pay attention to the space between the thought of what you think you’d to do before you take action. During that pause take the time to listen to what your whole being is saying: For example:

Once you’ve managed to add in some mindful caring for yourself, look around and see how you can care for your family, friends and the planet.

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